Hello to one and all:
The following is obviously
not another story or anecdote so why is it part of a book that I have called,
--- The Human Mind?? Because laughter
is extremely important. It represents an
unspoken indication that you are enjoying life.
Mohandas Gandhi said the
following: [I paraphrase for lack of a
sufficient memory and the decision not to look up the actual quote at this
particular moment.] “If it was not for
humor, I would have gone insane a long time ago.” That is one of the quotes at the start of each article in the book. It looks like it should have been used at the start of this article about humor. Hey, have you heard the news, --- I'm not perfect unless you want to call me a perfect idiot. Of course I'll reject that conclusion but enough of this nonsense, let's try some actual humor after the next --- enjoy.
Gandhi's quote is not some kind
of a flippant remark that sounds good but is lacking in any meaningful
value. On the contrary, it shows that
it’s author will not become overwhelmed by the inability to understand the
entirety of human behavior, but is willing to push ahead because he or she is
aware that what they have to offer is better than that which is currently in
vogue.
In another area of the human
mind book, I reference the behavior that
many years ago some individuals who were told that they were mentally ill, used
to laugh most of the time. Now that we
have mind altering drugs that can calm a person down, this type of behavior
does not occur as often as it did before.
The point to remember is
that these individuals were actually trying to self-medicate themselves into a
calmer state. Their state of tension was
being caused by distorted and/or conglomerated fears that they or their
“teachers” [read psychiatrists] were, in most cases, unable to help them with. And so my friends read on
and laugh out loud if you so desire. The
whole idea of placing this article in the Human Mind book was to underline in bold
print the importance of humor in our everyday lives.
Enjoy!!!
HUMOR
The value of humor was discussed in the article about
Red Lights in Traffic. In the game of
tag played by children, there are at least two reasons why children laugh in
this situation.
If the child is exceptionally good at avoiding being
touched, he or she may laugh as a result of their superiority in that
situation. If their ability to avoid
being touched is in doubt, they may laugh to reduce the tension concerning the
uncertainty of the situation.
I found the following short, humorous stories in a
book called, --- “The Dictionary of Jokes”, and they were compiled by the
author Fred Metcalfe. They represent
relatively innocent humor and I hope you enjoy them.
1. Agent:
Leave your number and I’ll call you when I’m looking for someone to play
an old man.
Actor: But I’m a young man.
Agent: You won’t be when I call you.
2. There’s no doubt that advertising brings
results. Yesterday we advertised for a
security guard and last night we were robbed.
3. Do you ever file your nails?
No said the
secretary. I just cut them off and
throw them away.
4.
(Soldier) --- I proved to the enemy that this was no place for
cowards.
(Officer) --- How did you do that?
(Soldier) --- I ran like hell!
5. (Sergeant) --- Fire at will!
(Private) --- Which one is Will?
6. (Prospective artist) --- I’d like to donate
some of my paintings to a worthy charity.
(Director for Charities) --- How about
the institute for the blind!
7. When I was a boxer they called me Rembrandt
because I was always on the canvas.
8. My uncle converted these cannibals to
Catholicism; --- now on Fridays they only eat fishermen.
9. Wife --- Whenever I’m down in the dumps, I
get myself a new dress.
Husband
--- So that’s where you find them!
10. Sales clerk --- This computer will cut your
workload by 50%
Customer --- I’ll take two of them.
11. (Judge) ---I’m sending you to jail for 3
months.
(Defendant) --- What’s the charge!!!
(Judge) --- There’s no charge. Everything is free.
12. (Judge) --- What possible reason could you
have for acquitting this villain?
(Foreman of the
Jury) --- Insanity your honor.
(Judge) ---
What? All 12 of you?
13. How did you learn to dance so well? Simple, when I grew up there were 9 kids in
our family and only one washroom.
14. Our courtship was fast and furious. I was fast and she was furious.
15. (Policeman) --- Why is one side of your car
painted red and the other side painted blue?
(Driver) --- I like to hear the
witnesses contradict each other.
16. There were 11 of us in our family. I didn’t know what it was like to sleep
alone until I got married.
17. I met my husband at a travel agency. I was looking for a holiday and he was the
last resort.
18. We went to a topless bar only to find out
that it had no roof.
19. She’s trying to diet and I’m dying to try
it.
20. My wife and I have an agreement that we
never go to bed angry. We’ve been awake
for nearly six months.
21, What is the last thing they do to a Tickle
Me Elmo Doll before it leaves the factory? --- They give it two test tickles. [Since I made this one up myself, there is a
very good chance that you have never heard it before. Unless of course the circle has become
complete.]
22. They call him “jigsaw.” Every time that he’s faced with a decision, he
goes all to pieces,
23. (Wife) --- I’ve changed my mind.
(Husband) --- Thank goodness. Does this one work any better?
24. I’m in love with a beautiful girl but she
doesn’t even know that I exist. What
should I do?
Show her your birth certificate.
25.
Why
can’t I align #’s 4, 24 and 25 up properly?
Because I am clueless when it comes to this computer
technology. [Sometimes the truth comes
out funny but in this case, maybe it didn’t.]
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