HUMAN SEXUALITY
She’s trying to diet and I’m dying to try it.
To write a book about the human mind and the topic of
psychology and not talk about sexuality would be the same as having an elephant
in ones living room and not talking about it. If you believe in a Creator, as I do, then it
becomes obvious that all living forms were created in such a way, that they
would almost always have the potential to reproduce.
Since our continued existence as a species, is the
potential that our Creator has given to us, as well as other creatures also, it
becomes patently obvious that the process of procreation would be given
paramount importance inside the mind of all forms of life, including the human
race also.
Many years ago, I spent a short time as a volunteer at
a mental hospital. On the mistaken
assumption that I was one of them, the patients were not guarded with their
conversations, as they were when a member of the staff was within earshot. Under these terms of reference, it was a
revelation to me to realize that the weekly social dance and the potential to
find a partner at these dances, was the main topic of conversation.
I was about 36 years old at the time and I became
interested in a beautiful young girl about 18 years old. Her facial appearance and demeanor was such
that it did not appear that she belonged in that hospital. Obviously something had precipitated her
inclusion into that setting.
I believed that I could help her to extricate herself
from her predicament. Unfortunately a
young female Chinese worker incorrectly decided that I was paying too much
attention to this patient and she misconstrued my motives. She gave me a number of looks that,
according to the favorite expression, --- were sufficient enough to kill
me.
I presume that this young lady talked to her superior
because the very next day I was informed that I was to stay away from that
particular patient from then on. I often
wondered whether she was able to extricate herself from the hospital and lead a
relatively normal life; or did some misguided Doctor assign her a position of
genetic inferiority and condemn her to a lifetime of psychiatric intervention?
The point being, that the sexual interaction between
two individuals is so powerful that confusion about ones motives and the
potential for deceit and even criminality is always possible. Of course when it brings the right people
together, it can be the most beautiful part of life itself.
One of the most difficult situations that one might
have to face in life is to have the moral fortitude to resist the overt sexual
advances of a sexually skilled potential partner. Obviously these situations are fraught with
danger. For a psychiatrist to help a
patient in all other areas of life but fail to help a person with a sexual
problem is to render his or her service next to useless.
As previously stated, Dr. Joseph Glenmullen wrote a
book which was at first called, --- “The Pornographer’s Grief”, which has
subsequently been renamed as --- “Sexual
Mysteries.” I suppose the reason for
this change will remain a mystery also.
Every one of the stories in his book is chalk full of
important lessons to be learned about sexual conduct and misconduct. I have already discussed in another part of
this book, the story about Carl and Lee.
Their story is found under the heading of, “Ancient Rites.”
In the chapter entitled, “The Woman Who Wanted To
Seduce Her Father”, we get a picture of a psychiatrist, (Dr. Joseph
Glenmullen),whose sexual boundary lines between patient and Doctor
were clearly and unequivocally established.
Would that such knowledge, restraint and an unshakeable desire to help,
rather than hinder a patient’s recovery, were so strongly ensconced in all such
therapists.
On page 127 and 128, the topic of bulimia and its
sexual overtones are discussed. The
following words appear: “For someone with an eating
disorder, food is no longer an inanimate object. Feeding is not merely a physiological
function. Instead, it is heavily
invested with conflictual psychological meaning. Interestingly, one only sees this kind of
distortion of eating behavior in luxury societies where food is in
abundance.”
“Only in such circumstances do people overeat and
vomit, even starve themselves to death, out of psychological anger and
hunger. One does not see eating
disorders in underdeveloped countries where food in short supply is still yoked
to biological necessity and not available to assume such distorted and symbolic
meaning.”
The above, simple, straight forward knowledge means
that any bio-psychiatrist who tries to say that bulimia is a sign of genetic
damage or chemical imbalance inside the human brain, that is not conducive to
behavioral change and repair, is unequivocally and demonstrably wrong.
Obviously it is a selected response on the part of the
sufferer to a multitude of psychological and physical problems that are all
negotiable in the hands of a competent Psychiatrist, Psychotherapist or
Cognitive Behavioral Therapist.
It can also be alleviated by a family member, or group
of family members, or friends who have a collective knowledge about psychology
sufficient for the task and present it to the aggrieved sufferer in a caring
and loving atmosphere of empathy.
The last paragraph on Page 215 of this book contains a
haunting reminder of how easily the human race can assign untold suffering to
those who are the most vulnerable: --- “In the past few decades, the field of psychiatry
has done a turn around on the issue of physical and sexual abuse in
families. In Freud’s day, abuse was
regarded as too great a violation of social standards to be credible. Freud believed that patients imagined sexual relationships
with parents or other adults as an extension of their strong feelings towards
them.”
This conclusion speak more about Sigmund Freud’s
fear of economic failure as well as other fears that came into play here also.
The well-to-do father’s of these children were paying the bill for their young
daughters or sons psychiatric assistance provided by Sigmund Freud.
If these father’s are actually guilty of incest, it
is rather obvious that they would find various and sundry reasons why their
daughter or son should stop seeing Sigmund.
They would obviously be motivated to assign negative implications to
Freud’s ideas.
All of which would conveniently fit inside Freud’s
fear of economic failure but of even more importance to Freud, they would cast
aspersions on his competence as the most
respected Psychiatrist of his day.
Whether Freud worked his way through the above thoughts or not remains
quess work at this late date.
It is known that such deviant sexual behavior as
mentioned above, was considered to be too illogical to be considered as
possible. Especially in such upstanding
members of society at that particular time. The obvious question to be answered
is simply this. How deeply inside the
human mind are some fears actually hidden??
Did the Freudian belief that the potential incest
that his young patients were describing actually represent the strong emotional
attachment that these children feel for their fathers, or indeed, do they
represent the violation of the obtuse sexual code of conduct invoked at that
time and which I referred to above?
Would such a misguided belief be sufficient to
leave Freud thinking that his imaginary definition of this situation was
authentic? One of the mistakes that
Freud made was to attach his own kind of fears to the fears that his clients
would express to him, rather than act directly on those fears themselves.
Fortunately today, more illuminating circumstances
prevail and the criminal behavior that such children are reporting is more
actively confronted and corrected today rather than being shunted aside as if
they are illusory and not worth further analysis. Sadly, even today such behavior is too easily
covered up because of the explosive measures that such disclosure would bring
about.
On page [sorry but I don't have the actual page number at this time and place] of
the book called Fear [learning to cope], comes the following words. “Fortunately, in recent years, strident
patient advocates emerged within the profession to challenge such notions. Nowadays, abuse is recognized all too often
as being true. A burgeoning literature
and support network provides survivors with sanctuary for breaking the taboo
and being heard and affirmed.”
Just like in all other facets of human life, the
psychiatric profession must learn by trial and error. Not to have seen beyond the apparent chaos of
psychological understanding, to the clearer understanding of psychological
factors that the theory of conglomerated and distorted fear has to offer, is an
example of such trials and errors that must now be swept aside.
And finally, on page 221, we find the slide into
criminal activity from failure to control ones sexual desires. We then become aware of the all-encompassing
emotional turmoil that such action can cause for the victim and in other destructive
ways, --- for the perpetrator also.
Chapter 11 entitled, “Sexual Fears” in Albert G.
Forgione’s book called, “Fear (Learning to cope)”, also delves into the
devastating effects that sexual
fears can have on a person’s life. These
are not confined to criminal activity but also embrace fears of any nature
that prevent the average person from experiencing the pleasure and happiness
that a mature sexual lifestyle can bring to each and every one of us.
In an earlier chapter, I stated that Dr. A.G. Forgione
came within an Ace of putting forward the main ideas that I am putting forward
in this book. Here is the relevant quote
from page 137: --- “Fears
that permeate many different aspects of an individual’s behavior may become
deeply entrenched and protected through elaborate rationalizations and an
almost impenetrable maze of defense mechanisms.
Such far-ranging fears, essentially affect the entire personality.”
Dr. Forgione concludes the above comment by saying
that: [This topic] “is beyond the scope
of this chapter.” I consider the
opposite to be true. The theories about
psychological matters at that time and even right now, fail to grasp the
significance of the above bolded quotation.
I surmise that the so-called brilliant psychiatrists
that Dr. Forgione knew, convinced him that even though his ideas appeared to
have some merit, --- after all; he was only studying dental psychology, whereas
the entire field of psychology was far more complex then what Dr. Forgione was
capable of understanding. Once again, as
I said before, the opposite is true.
The last chapter in his book deals with the fear of
flying. For various reasons, one of
which would obviously be the need to earn a living, Dr. A. G. Forgione accepted
a position at the Logan International Airport in Boston teaching people how to
overcome their fear of flying. It is
somewhat ironic to note that the terrorist attack on 9/11 originated from Logan
International Airport.
The question that I would like to ask Dr Forgione is
simply this: Does he realize how close
he came to shedding new light on the manner in which the human mind
functions? Without any doubt
whatsoever, this author remains one of my most cherished heroes. In spite of the fact, that as Winston
Churchill once said: “Some men stumble
over the truth, pick themselves up and walk away as if nothing had
happened.”
I INTEND TO MAKE IT
HAPPEN!!!!!
Unfortunately, Dr. Forgione’s book was written in
1978, so you might have some difficulty finding a copy of it. I was able to buy a copy of it for my personal
library and if possible, I recommend that you get a copy of it also. I also found a copy at the York University
library which is located in Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
It is altogether too easy to fixate oneself on the
degradation of the human condition and fail to realize that decency, honesty,
bravery and heroism is at all times surrounding us. Much of these positive attributes of the
majority of human beings becomes lost in a sea of corruption and violence
perpetrated by one human being against another.
The police officers and social workers in particular
are subjected to such levels of negativity as to leave them feeling morose
about mankind's future. But it is
important to realize that the level of civilization that we have achieved,
albeit not as complete as we would like it to be, would nevertheless be
impossible unless the majority of people were decent, law abiding citizens.
The words of the following three people should never
be forgotten when one is contemplating the human condition:
1. Margaret
E. Sangster (paraphrased)
“Love makes the world go around. It makes every enterprise
worthwhile here on earth. It is
co-equal with life, outlasts death and reaches onward into infinity.”
2. Pearl S.
Buck
“Nothing in life is as good as the marriage of true
minds between a man and a woman.
Actually that is wrong. It is
life itself.”
3. Charles
Templeton
“I believe that the greatest motivating force in
life is love. Caring for someone
else, we will be motivated to seek the best for that person and we will be
ennobled in so doing.”
And finally from the Christian Bible comes the
ultimate message.
LOVE SURPASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING.
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