Sunday, 9 November 2014

REDUCING THE FEAR OF REJECTION DOWN TO REASONABLE LEVELS..



The ideas that I am about to express are as important as a teaching priority in our schools as is the simple act of learning to read and write.   We have to teach our children, especially our young men, that the fear of [romantic] rejection is not the be all and end all of life.

It is truly unfortunate that a myriad, or large number, of ideas have given credence to ideas that should now be swept aside.   One of those ideas is the one that says that a certain partner is the only one for me.

There is much beauty and poetic value to such an ideal but it also carries with it the seeds of violence including suicide.  It is with some regret that I must acknowledge that as the more aggressive of the two sexes, it is the masculine personality that is more adversely affected by this fear of rejection.

Nevertheless, with a level of passivity taken into account, the fear of rejection is as time consuming and devastating in its effect on the female population, as it is on its male counterpart

As an example, one of my acquaintances reiterated a personal part of his life where a young woman rejected his advances.  Although horribly devastated at the time, this acquaintance of mine stated that years later when he saw the young lady in person once more, she had lost her youthful physical charm and was now a 300 pound behemoth. 

He related to me how he stood there in awe thanking his lucky stars that the lady in question had decided long ago to reject him.  It is not my intention to ridicule another member of the human race, but it is my intention or desire to reduce the level of depression and/or anger involved for the man in particular, when such rejection occurs.

Obviously in my other story about the young couple who may or may not have been the victims of a suicidal impulse, if that indeed was the case, and in other instances it certainly can become the case; then the idealistic attitude that there is only one possible person in the whole world who could be one's soul-mate, is a failure to accept reality to the extent that it could lead to the end of life for one or both of the said individuals involved in this most personal of life’s moments.

While the example described earlier, involves physical appearances, other problems of various natures can become self-evident to the rejected individual if indeed that individual has the discipline to allow the passage of time to imprint upon that individual the value that is to be gained from time itself. Even if the person, who is doing the rejecting, becomes the heart-throb that one has perceived with one’s inner eye; the idea that another mate can also be that very special person retains all of its potential for reality.    

In other more simplified terms, the rejection that is tearing at the very fabric of ones life in the turbulent years of adolescence, can become the defining moments of strength in one’s later years. Especially if the pressures of time can be alleviated inside the mind of the aggrieved individual, in this all too often aspect of the maturing process for all of us as we travel through the minefield of adolescent behavior. 

To simplify this situation even further, I am trying to alleviate the pressures involved for those who experience rejection and end up losing their lives to the insidious nature of this all encompassing fear of rejection.                

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